There is no doubt about it, divorce is a stressful time, an emotional roller coaster that often makes you feel as if you are going crazy. That is why you will probably need advice from family lawyers to make sure you know exactly what you need to do to facilitate matters and to understand what your rights are.
It is a sad fact that many once happy couples get divorced and may think they will never be happy again. But life moves on and you will find as time goes by, you can adapt and have a life of your own once again. It may even be a better life than you had before.
Here are some tips to help you get through that divorce and come out the other side without having gone crazy.
- Find a supportive lawyer to advise you and represent you if you need to go to court.
- When you separate from your spouse, make sure you find a safe place to live. If there was violence, you don’t have to give them your address.
- If your spouse threatens you, take out an VRO against them. Then if they harass you they can be punished for it.
- Don’t allow your ex to manipulate you by making you feel guilty. It takes two to work on a happy marriage. Know that there is most likely fault on both sides, but that doesn’t matter now. The courts don’t consider fault in any way; they only need to know that the relationship has broken down irretrievably.
- Accept that divorce is the solution and that it will get better over time, once everything is settled.
- Make sure the assets are divided up fairly, especially if you have children and will be the one to care for them in the future.
- Take time out to care for yourself. Read a book, have a manicure, buy some nice clothes and spend time with supportive friends and family.
- Make sure you eat well. Starving yourself will accomplish nothing. Eat small but nourishing meals if you don’t feel hungry.
- Minimise contact with your ex. A third party can sometimes act as a go-between if being with your ex ends up like a dogfight.
- Go to professional counselling if you can’t get yourself back on track with just talking to your friends.
- Spend time doing something helpful for someone else. If you have time, volunteer at a women’s shelter. It will open your eyes and help you realise there are some people worse off than you.
- Seek helpful advice for all those things your ex did and you now have to do. People love to give advice, whether it is how to put oil in the car or how to start up the barbeque.